Slowly

Fear

Enshrouded in fear

Day after day

Took three steps back

And walked away

The courage to confront

Fists clenched tight

Cowering in the dark

Waiting to see light

The Devil playing games

"Come Hither", he whispers

You face him

to bid farewell and

Seek hope in the distance

Failure after failure

Your spirit grows sore

Fight one last battle

And fear no more

okay. i've had just 3 tests last week and 2 tests this week. am extremely displeased.

they promised to only give ONE test a week. what injustice is this?!

training is, not yet, but going to, kill me soon.

i'm having a shitload of white spots on my face, and menses is coming soon. (all this just before chinese new year. NO REALLY, THANK YOU.)

on top of that, i am in social conflict with myself.

my mama saw me peparing a friend's birthday gift just now.. she asked..
"Why do you spend so much time effort doing things for other people? they also never give you much for your birthday."

and then i plunged into emo state almost immdiately.

and i dont usually emo over such things, because i like doing things for people. the results, seeing them happy, makes me really fuzzy inside.

i need to find a cure to these fluctuating emotions soon.

----

on a lighter note, i forgot to mention what i got for myself for CNY. got it 3 weeks back (before all the crowd hoo-hah in town), all from F21, and total <$60.

i am proud of myself in this particular aspect.

the pieces are simple. cuz of the fact that i didnt wanna put in too much effort this year trying to look good. i mean, it' just visiting your relatives. they probably wont remember your outfit by the next week anyways.the colour is SOOO not true to that in the picture :( it's more emerald-y green in real life.

oh yes, and should i cut myhair this way? yes no? tag? thank you?JC2 is seriously slowy destroying my innards. slow, painful death.

i cant wait for A Levels to get the fuck out of my face.

cuz as of now,

I HAVE NO LIFE.

fight one last battle

and fear no more

"Get a grip on yourself, Anthea.

You're not the kind of person people wanna accept.

So stop trying.
And accept it."

Old Men and Other Pretty Things

somehow... me and other girls in this generation are crazy over handsome old men. oh well, you know you cant resist their charm. -sigh- from top to bottom: robert downey jr (i prefer him with the mustache tho), orlando bloom, johnny depp.

and now, i would like to share with you readers, the other pretty things that pleased my eyes.

peace tank- Philip Lim
midnight silk biker jacket- Christopher Kane
boots- White's boots
croc ring- Delfina Delettrez
elephant ring- F21
stamp of approval owl ring- Modcloth
antonio paledino crab silver bracelet- Barneys
yellow nail polish- OPI
waxed skinny jeans, save the earth tote bag, wooden shades- unknown

oh yeah, made an outfit on polyvore. i know i can never in my whole life afford all the items together at once, but whatever. the theme is 'love earth', as you can see. the animal rings are mad hot and the recyclable tote totally screams my name. you guys like? it's okay if you don't. i know i do. :D

my graph now reads 'socially upsetting'

soooo. some major social events happened on facebook bout 2 weeks ago. i still kind of hate you, really. you made me so confused and shook my relationship with my classmates and bf for a moment there. and while i continue to ponder whether or not you were lying, my mind shall remain unsettled. and it's not just me. i'm not the only one making the observations.

soccer training is seriously heating up. both literally and metaphorically @_@ can feel the A divisions nearing.. which means tougher, longer trainings. monsoon periods are coming to an end, which means hotter, muggier afternoons spent out in the field. the very thought of leaving is surprisingly tempting. at times you feel like you just wanna give up.

but after you think of that, you immediately think of the team involved.
how every person matters in the game.
how everyone's counting on your efforts.
how much everyone needs you.
how much they mean to me.
and how much it means to coach to win this.

so. i gotta keep my head up! no matter how tiring. besides, only 2 more months of enduring!!!


meanwhile, today was really tiring. gahh.

now soccerettes gotta run for 20 mins EVERYDAY before school starts. which means i gotta be in school at 6.50 am sharp in order to made it for assembly on time.

today during P.E. mr. tan asked

'how many rounds did you guys clock today?'
'uhh, 8.'
'okay, i will be letting the rest of the class run 2.4 today. meanwhile you guys sit aside, no need to do, okay?'

me, jas and syah were like.. HALLELUJAHHHHHHH WE DONT NEED TO RUN!!

scally after the group of girls set off for their run, mr. tan turned to us and said

'okay, today you will do sprinting! sprint the breadth of the field, then jog back. do twenty times. :D alright, on your own now girls.'


. . . .

20 times.
oh god,
i wanted to kill that man.

but i cant, cuz his muscles are too awesome and his actions are too cute to be killed. BOOOO D:

Love nourishes the soul

"Love, like rain, can nourish from above, drenching couples with a soaking joy. But sometimes, under the angry heat of life, love dries on the surface and must nourish from below, tending to its roots, keeping itself alive.

'the five people you meet in heaven'
by Mitch Albom